Latest in the Dementia Series

I need title suggestions!

This is the 8th and latest image in my Dementia Series. You can see the other 7 on my website: Cindy Hansen Photography

You know how parents act over-excited when their little kids are opening gifts because the little kids don't really know what's going on? Over-emoting, I call that. "OOOO JOHNNY WOW!! IT'S A HOTWHEELS! YOU LOVE HOTWHEELS!!!" The kids just stares. Or telling a 1 year old to blow out the candles when all they can do is cry at the cake on fire in front of them. Roles are reversed when dementia has changed Mom and she no longer knows what is going on. Her grown kids over-emote, hoping she'll act excited and happy like she used to.

In this project, I am attempting to use visual cues to convey the reality of living with dementia or caring for a loved one who is struggling with it. The Alzheimer's Association estimates that 6.7 million Americans 65 and older are living with it in 2023. The CDC estimates more than 16 million Americans provide more than 17 billion hours of unpaid care each year for family and friends with Alzheimer's disease and related dementias. My mother, her 5 sisters and their mother all had it. I am 64 now and see the writing on the wall. Taking care of mom was the hardest thing my sisters and I did. I wish to apologize to my kids in advance for the emotional and physical struggles that may very well be ahead as I live out the last third of my life.

But it’s not all bad, believe it or not. Several caretakers have told me there are also times of laughter. The ridiculous rears its head and all you can do is relax, laugh and then straighten it out as best you can. Life is what it is, so laugh when you can. Grab that chance to enjoy the moment with those you love.

The image above (for which I need help coming up with a title - help me in the comments) is constructed of 30 layers derived from over 270 photographs taken in my basement studio and upstairs in the dining room. I am posing as both the mother and the daughter, and my husband is posing as the overly happy guy lighting the birthday cake.

I gathered many of the props from around my house and bought others from the Dollar Store. The gift boxes and bag are empty but festively wrapped! The blue dress the mother is wearing is from Goodwill. I bought the cake from the grocery store, making sure it was decadently delicious because I planned for us to eat it when we were through using it! Best prop ever!!

The dining room background was flipped because having the built-in glass cabinet on the right helped move the mother more to the center, balancing the composition. The wallpaper does not exist. I downloaded a wallpaper swatch with a good repeating pattern that I could patch together in Photoshop and overlay on the walls, creating a grandmotherly-like house. I used a drop shadow to help the Happy Birthday banner to look like it is actually hanging on the wall rather than pinned to the cloth backdrop in the basement. That drop shadow method was also used for the people who were all shot downstairs and not upstairs. Why not just shoot the whole thing upstairs where it all ended up? It seemed easier at the time because the lighting and the table were all set up down there. I originally thought I would create fake walls for the room but that wasn’t working.

This is typical of my shoots. I have plans that I worked on for weeks but reality steps in during the shoot and plans change. It’s a lesson in flexibility and going with the flow. From conception to completion, this image took about a month to create.

It took us about a week to polish off that cake!