There is nobody more familiar to me than the child who has always been inside me. No matter how old my body gets, my inner child is always about 5 years old or so. She used to be visible on the outside. At five, I was almost always happy, singing, playing, pretending, running, climbing, exploring, and cuddling with Mom or Dad.
I distinctly remember the day my outside body was no longer free and ok. I was six or seven, and we had just moved from Montello to Monona. As I was exploring the new house on moving day, I ran out into the backyard to see what it was like. The weather was warm and sunny, so I was barefoot and wearing shorts. No shirt. That was ok the day before, but today Mom called me in and told me I was too old to run around like that. What?! Why?? It was ok yesterday. She gave me the impression that nobody does that here in this town. I didn’t know then that she was forever worried about appearances, and she thought this place was upscale from the small town of Montello. She didn’t want us looking like hillbillies or whatever. She didn’t explain all that to me at the time, just told me to go put a shirt on. From then on, I kept an eye on the judgmental neighbors, knowing I wasn’t welcome as I was.
My child self was now only an inner child. She was free to be, but the outside Cindy needed to beware, be embarrassed, be smart, and never get caught not knowing something.
I love that inner kid and let her out to play as often as I can. In 2019, I decided to make a self-portrait of her. I wasn’t ready to let her be seen without her shirt on, but at least she could collect together some books to read and toys to play with, even the original Playskool Village. She could chew bubble gum!
Little white ankle socks were a must. I always wore those if I had shoes on. Pedal Pushers (now called capris) were a thing back then along with t-shirts. I put my hair up in ponytails.
It took at least 54 attempts to get a good bubble and none of the good ones were with a good pose. Plus, I had to get up and check the camera often since I was doing this alone and without a tether to a screen. Up, down, up down, did I get it, did I get it? Try again and again and again. Eventually I tried Photoshopping a good bubble on a good pose. Lesson learned, I can do that and save myself a LOT of time! The bubble and pose at the beginning of this article did not happen at the same time.
Here are the Bubble Gun Outtakes:
The bubble I used is 3 columns over and 4 rows down. Not lower right-hand corner!
I love this!! So much fun! I'm all about letting my inner child out to play!!
Congratulations on your time out in the world, inner Cindy!